I made a [hopefully slight] mistake, Space Pilgrims. In the sheer metric tonnage of things to do prior to moving, I forgot at least one important step.
There’s a company, a tax company, that Kaz and I have worked with for years. As our finances have gotten more complicated, they have they have been great to us. I don’t want to precisely name and shame them—*cough* *cough* Z&5 tycTM *cough* *cough*—but let’s just say that you could come up with an almost-a-pun if you said, with a bit of a swollen mouth, sketch and draw block.
Like a lot of accounts, our account with them is deeply associated with an email address. And in this case, the email was deeply associated with my old job. I had notes to myself, “Doug needs to change this specific email address for {x, y, z, etc},” and in a lot of cases I did.
I think I started to change it there, but when I try to log in to start the annual Joy in Taxes Ritual, it wants my old work email to let me sign in. Despite insisting, in the out of date online help pages, that there should be a button I could button to use another way to verify who I am, said button does not even have the dignity to face me as a man.
So I call.
Pick up a phone and call.
Like an old person.
Only, now there is an AI assistant to help with the phone. Ah, the dream. The future. The slow erosion of all middle-class jobs to make sure there is an even bigger divide between the rich and the riff-raff.
*sips tea* Yes, yes.
At any rate, I smile because why not be nice to the unthinking digital monstrosity feasting on our good will and hopes for a brighter tomorrow, and I respond to the “How can I help you [fleshy creature]?” prompt and I say, in as clear of a voice as I can muster:
“I need help updating my email address on your website.”
This was followed by clicking and clacking sounds. To make me feel like it was thinking and typing out an answer. It went on for a while, so I had some hope that it was digging up some module to actually assist with my problem or at least give me follow-up sub-prompts.
….
………
….
……
“To update your computer, you need to make sure you have the right software…[detailed instructions on finding software as a concept online]…and then make sure your firewall is not blocking the upgrade and install…[some more advice, including contacting the company’s help line for all my tech support needs].”
It “heard” the word “update” and then gave me a response about updating my computer before then appending the standard “there is help available” by giving me the information I had already used to end up in this conversation. It was both an endless loop and a sidequest.
Now, the company does have product-specific software. At least, I assume it does. Wait, let me check….
[pretend clicking and clacking noises]
…yes. It does. It seems like they have it updated through 2025 and I’m sure more AI bots are vibe coding the 2026 version right as we speak. Well, right as I type. I’m not saying this out loud or anything. That would be….crazy, right?
At any rate, while utterly unhelpful, it makes at least some vague sense if their average customer base is calling to ask for tech help and its having to start very basic on a whole.
Still.
The future is now.
After that, I simply said, “Agent, please,” and it made some more clicking clacking, told me human agents were only available from 7am to some other time CST, and then hung up on me.